You are at a crossroads. You think about where you are going. The years pass and it seems to you that they pass faster and faster. You feel inside that you were like a robot and did all the things quickly before. And you have more and more thoughts. It’s like you want something more, you don’t know exactly what, or maybe you do. And you feel an inner restlessness.
Every day you set out to do something. But from tomorrow, because today you have other priorities. You worry that if you were to act, something in the dynamics of your current relationships, life context would change.
I see you, I hear you. I passed by and still pass by.
It’s normal to feel that if you change something, you’ll lose your peace, and maybe you’ll feel guilty because you’ll make some choices that will have an impact on your life, and on those around you. You feel like you’re at a crossroads. #LiveBeyond is about being or feeling at a crossroads and especially about (re)configuring your path.
Sooner or later, we all reach the same destination. The destination is not up to us, but how fulfilling the path we walk is up to us.
To calm the inner restlessness you need a vision for your life, to walk on your path, with respect and gratitude for the path you have been on or are on now. When we have a vision, we set some goals, ours, not someone else’s. Vision and goals will guide us.
Along the way, we can lose them or we can take over the goals of others. What do we do then? It’s like on the mountain trails. We have a map, and some markers to guide us. When we no longer see the markers, we get scared, fear that we have lost our way, and frantically search for the lost sign. This is how we do when we stray from our path. Because we know the vision and the goals, after all, today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, we return to it. We wander for a while, but after searching within ourselves, we return to our path.
I think I hear one of the voices in your head: “But what will happen if I make this change now? I’m scared.” Stop. Change doesn’t have to be sudden. You don’t change everything and say you’re done, I’m on my way.
I propose an exercise inspired by “Designing Your Life” by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans. I applied it to myself at different stages. I also apply it constantly to those I work with. I find it revealing because it opens up unsuspected perspectives.
Grab a pen and paper and do the following 7-step exercise. It takes a maximum of 20-30 minutes.
- You start from where you are.
- You choose a time interval: 3 or 5 years.
- You imagine 3 plans of your life, which you see yourself living.
Plan 1 – What is the story you are telling yourself today about the next 3 or 5 years?
Plan 2 – What would you do in the next 3 or 5 years if Plan 1 is not an option?
Plan 3 – What you would do in the next 3 or 5 years if you had no constraints related to money, status, external pressure, or any other constraint? - Write the story you tell yourself about the next 3 or 5 years for each plan. Add meaningful events to each story that you can view both personally and professionally.
- Give each plan a name.
- Rate each plan based on 4 indicators: “Resources”, “Like”, “Trust”, and “Coherence”:
Resources = Do you have the necessary resources (time, money, skills) to carry out the plan?
Like = How do you feel about this possible plan? You like? Not really. So and so.
Confidence = Do you think it’s a possible plan? Yes? Maybe? Not quite, not exactly.
Coherence = Is this plan aligned with who you are? Or is it about “must”? Is it consistent with what you want in your personal and professional life?
Reflect on which of the 3 plans inspires you.
This could be the first step to cross the crossroads. It’s about (re)configuring your route, not suddenly, but with small changes, building a vision and goals.
I would like you to leave me a thought about what you discovered from the exercise.
